The Four Quadrants

Written by Norma on 15 November 2010

Written as Newsletter. 14 November 2010

Dear Friends

Thanks for writing to me. Many of you bought the Singapore Women’s Weekly and some wrote to me. Thank you! It is such a privilege to be invited to write a column for SWW. Besides the love for writing, it is also wonderful to be able to share with new friends and well, yes, some strangers who become friends.

A special lady called Elin wrote today and asked me to share something on my 4 quadrants of life, namely, work, spiritual, family and social. So I thought I should share.

Family

I was invited to be the Orator at the Annual Oration & Dinner for the Obstetricians and Gynaecologists Society of Singapore. I was of course delighted. The event was last week and I had a great time with the wonderful doctors who had lots of insights and I loved listening to them!

Well, what I said to them as what I shared with another group of senior people last week when asked to describe myself – I said that first and foremost I am a mother. I know some of you out there are single women or some of you may not have children. Please forgive me as I indulge into this part of myself.

Yes, I am a mother first and foremost. I shared with the OGSS friends that if women stopped being mothers, and good mothers, the human race stops. And yes, we know there are instances where sometimes women close their wombs, when they feel that having children is not the answer whether because of personal, social or environmental problems.

So to me, I have an underlying priority in life and that is my family. For example, I was known to have caught the 5pm flight back to KL to watch my son perform at 8pm when he was a young child, and then, under the care of my mother as I was then working crazy hours in Singapore. I also did crazy things like go fetch him his pencil case when he was a young child because back then he had small anxiety issues if things were not complete in school. Of course, he is now grown and a young man. And he is off and running on his own, and I am with a nearly empty nest at home except for my daughter who is wonderful at keeping me occupied.

Work

I think one of the most important things about work is the need for us to be constantly learning and constantly growing. Take the challenges as they come. And also to go to courses, learn from others and be ever ready to change if need be.

The worst danger is to be stuck in something and not realize that you have not grown at all, or your skills had become dinosaur and obsolete, and your bosses are wondering how to retire you early. That is terrible.

So to anyone out there, constant upgrading is a must. To do that, read, read, read, if you can… attend part time courses. Do not assume you will be promoted to a position to learn the job. NEVER happens that way. You are promoted because you can already do the job before the promotion.

Social

There is a difference between networking and friendship as what I said in my books. You network effectively so you can find people who can help you to your next job, or to clinch another business deal. You do it with sincerity, offering help or support to another if required. But this is not friendship. You do not tell the person your life story. They are your acquaintances for business and career.

Friendship… my friends are the same people I knew 20 years ago… yes… they remain my friends… I added new ones. They are all in different circles and so I have different outings… I try to keep in touch with different groups through the year… And then there are the few who are the ‘best friends’ category… We can always have more than one…

The only thing to be careful about is to put so much in friendships, and if you are somehow stuck or if you have friends who hold back your progress. Do a checklist of this and if so, you might need a change, or new addition of friends, and see the Ms Hold You Back less…. much much less.

Spiritual

Life cannot be complete unless we can somehow answer the question of Life Purpose, and who we are. At some point, we need to know whether there is something else out there, whether we call that Creator, God, Universe… Something.

I believe very much that our spiritual lives are a critical cornerstone and provide an anchor for us. It is less important who or what you deem ‘God’ …. only very important that you begin a search in earnest and with a true heart, and that you find something at the end, something that rings true to your heart… so true that it is like the sound of your own name… And that’s when you know you have found a truth….

Spiritual understanding is that which gives you reason and purpose on a day to day.

So that’s it. I know there is more to say. But for a short newsletter, these are my thoughts.

If you have others, please send them to me at norma.gsr@gmail.com

Be happy and be at peace.

With Friendship,

Norma
Gorgeous Sexy Rich & Strong!

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