Christmas 2010- Giving & The Gift Of Being Present

Written by Norma on 21 December 2010

We are walking through Vivo City, my daughter and I, and marveling at the tons of gorgeous stuff to buy and take home. Here and there, I see new shops, or at least shops I have not seen before since I have not been to Vivo for more than six months, being buried in work. The new designer blouses are great and the shoes are fabulous. And I think, wow, I would like to give this and that to myself, and after all, don’t I deserve a gift for all my months of hard work? That particular designer blouse looks quite stunning and I am dreaming of myself in it, like some women might.

My daughter, all agog with delight as her mother had promised to take her shopping before her upcoming holiday abroad with her aunt so that she can look right for all the outings her aunt will be taking her to, was ogling the clothes and shoes as well, albeit at a different age range, although I must say in my defence, that sometimes, there is overlap and then we share. Both mother and daughter were happily engrossed in the spirit of consumerism and spending adventure.

‘Swipe’ went the credit card. ‘Ting’ went the register. ‘Thank you’ went the girl. ‘Smile’ went the daughter. ‘Happy’ is the Mum. I was giving to my daughter a part new wardrobe for her trip but also for her admission into a new school year and into upper secondary. She is fast becoming a woman, I reflected, smiling away on the inside and proud of her.

The next day, my son came along to me and said, ‘Let’s go to the movies, Mum, my treat.’ And so we three ended up watching ‘Tron Legacy’ the next day at Vivo again, but not before he quietly and obliquely complained that he wanted to spend time with me too alone, shopping. I had been too engrossed in work, seems to his unspoken statement.

He made me think. He wanted ‘to spend time with me alone too,’ he had said. So maybe I was not spending as much time with the both of them as I should have, that to spend time together, we had to go shopping or to the movies.

This is the season for giving. My son’s statement made me reflect about the meaning of this season and what it means to give, to really give…. The best gift we can give to each other and to our loved ones is our time, our presence and our being-ness with another person. To understand those we love and who love us. To pause and reflect how good it is to have PEOPLE in our lives, and not things alone. And that it is PEOPLE in our lives that is what matters, not the shoes, the bags, the clothes, the movies, the things…And that it is much easier to write a cheque for the lesser fortunate than it is to give our time and energy, and our mindspace to their needs… Much easier to earn money and to give a portion of that money away, than to dedicate the same time energy effort, that could be spent earning money, to the ‘needies’.

Both types of contributions and donations are good. Both types of giving are needful. Money is necessary and vital to support the needies. But giving time, energy and effort — well, that brings the recipient closer to home, doesn’t it? Wouldn’t meeting the needies face to face make them more real than just a name on a cheque, written out by remote and posted out? Wouldn’t it make these ‘needies’ somewhat more like our own children or family who says ‘I want your time this season. I want your presence. Not just another gift, and not just money, though that is nice and much appreciated.’

Yes, I think it would. It would put faces to our cheques, faces to our gifts, faces to all the things we pay for with a swipe of a card. We need to give each other time, our presence and our being with them. There is a saying that it is people who makes us real. Because there is you, therefore I exist.

So this Christmas, let’s give thanks for the people in our lives. Let’s spend time with them. Whether our families, friends or the charities we support. Let’s give them the gifts of time and money. Let’s have a blessed time being present to those in our lives.

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